How intimacy coaching differs from sex therapy

Intimacy coaching, also known as relationship coaching or sex coaching, helps you develop skills in order to have the intimate relationships you seek, with yourself and those around you.  It can be a complement to various therapy modalities, and understanding the difference can help you get the best support for your goals.

Core distinctions:

• My coaching is somatic and experiential. Therapy is structured primarily around talking. My coaching focuses on the mind-body connection.  I support you in experiencing what different emotions feel like in your body, what sensations can tell you, and how to respond to them. 
• Coaching is action-oriented. Intimacy coaching builds skills to enhance sexual experiences, explore desires, and develop greater sexual confidence and fulfillment. We practice tools together, including things how to build empathy, how to set better boundaries, or how to improve sexual communication. Therapy generally focuses on healing and addressing psychological or emotional states, as well as treating mental health conditions. Sex therapists often work with clients to unpack complex sexual issues and reduce psychological barriers to intimacy. 
• Coaching can be erotic if necessary. If you are interested in understanding what turns you on or exploring fantasies in a safe space, we can do that. We can also discuss sexual techniques such as giving great blow jobs or enhancing masturbation, which you can try on your own. We can dig in on overcoming low desire or achieving orgasm more easily (don’t worry, we don’t orgasm during session!).
• Coaching works on distinct goals. Coaching is structured around clearly identified short- or medium-term objectives, with structured plans that promote accountability and check in on progress. Therapy often uses deep insight, processing, and clinical interventions, which unfold over time. 
• Therapists are licensed and regulated; coaches are trained and in some cases certified. Therapists are licensed clinicians who can diagnose and treat mental disorders. Coaches receive training and may be certified, but the industry is not regulated and coaches do not provide clinical treatment or diagnoses. 

What I can offer as a coach that a therapist usually does not

Skilled therapists often do coaching-style work, and some clinicians have integrated coaching tools into their sessions. However, I offer certain targeted outcomes as an intimacy coach that are typically outside the scope of therapy:

1. Skill training for sex & intimacy
   Using somatic techniques (breath, sensation awareness, small relational experiments) as well as understanding of human relationships and sexuality, I teach practical skills to increase pleasure, intimate communication, and embodied empowerment.  These may include real-time practice of tools like flirtation or navigating first dates. 
2. Focus on outcomes
   We will identify what you want to work on up front (such as closer connection, better sex, or living your personal values), and check in on it at each session. We will link the skills we practice to your goals, and workshop the tools if they are not having the desired impact. If you gain insights during our conversations, I will try to help you experience what they feel like through role play or visualization, because pure insights in session often evaporate once you get home. We will keep attention on what you want to create next, rather than digging into how your patterns developed.
3. Partnership toward your goals
   I treat our time together as a partnership focused on the outcomes you choose. In contrast to a traditional therapist who may maintain emotional distance, I will share parts of my own experience when I feel it will help in your journey. We will collaborate to find the solutions that work for you.
4. A supplement, not a substitute, for therapy
   Coaching is not a substitute for clinical treatment. If our work uncovers active symptoms that indicate a mental health condition, unhealed trauma, or other situations requiring professional treatment, diagnosis, or medical attention, I will refer you to a licensed mental health professional and coordinate care if appropriate. 

The Somatica difference

While most intimacy coaches have completed instruction, my training from the Somatica Institute is unique for several reasons:

• Somatica uses an evidence-based curriculum grounded in psychology, sociology, and somatic theory research centered on healing, growth, and developing deeper connection.
• Somatica believes that intimacy can be taught, and has built a method to break it down into small steps that can be learned. 
• The Somatica method emphasizes experiential practice and pleasure-based learning to build new capacities in real time and change how your nervous system responds to intimacy.
• I completed 90 hours of live teaching as well as 20 practice hours.  For certification, I am completing observed coaching and mentorship from Somatica founders Celeste Hirshmann and Danielle Harel as well as a certification exam. I expect my certification to be complete in spring 2026.

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If you are interested in practical intimacy coaching that helps you build embodied confidence, restore or redesign your sexual life, and create measurable progress, I’d love to chat.